What Is So Bad About Being Good?

So an un-named friend of mine's nan died today. This women had altzhiemers and has been rough for a couple of weeks. Her husband is probably one of the most kindest, generous, selfless and genuine men I have ever had the pleasure to meet! Have any of you seen 'The Notebook'? For those who haven't it is about a man whose wife of about 40-some years has altzhiemers. But does he give up on her? Dose he 'lump' her on to some nurses and make her 'their problem'? NO! He fucking stays with her. Every fucking day. Pretending to be a reader. Reading her diary.

You can say this is a 'girly' film. That I'm not 'masculine' (whatever the fuck that means) for watching this film. But you know what? I don't give a fuck.

My friend's grandad was just like this fella in 'The Notebook'. He cared for her. Always tried to make her smile. Stroked her hair, fed her marshmellows 'coz she LOVES em, and all this other small stuf that COUNTS as us as being fucking HUMAN!!!!

This leads me on to my next point. So in the news today I found out that a gang war today resulted in a shooting. And this shooting was probably caused by the insult 'knob' being thrown at another person, therefore feeling the need to involve guns. A 35 year old shop owner and FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL were caught in the cross fire.

I'll just repeat that.

A. FIVE. YEAR. OLD. GIRL!

I'm not a violent person. I'm 18 and have never been in a fist fight except a few blows thrown between myself and my quaralling brother. I'm against the death penalty. If you ask me it's the highest form of hypocrisy. 'You can't take a life. That ain't your right. So we are going to take yours.' But, in all honesty, when it comes to kids aged 14-21, and older, who carry guns and shoot at eachother, not caring about those that it might inflict OUTSIDE their pathetic issues, I couldn't give two good goddamn fucks if they turned the guns on themselves! Honestly these egotistical, monstrous, selfish, imbecilic idiots who think they are so 'hard' that they carry around guns and knives and all other kinds of pathetic stuff need to realise that it isn't 'masculine' or 'butch' or 'manly' but PATHETIC! And THAT'S IT!

Away

Windows for a face,
My blank starry gaze.
Fear fills my eyes, my mouth,
With it's bittersweet taste.

The picture frame starts to crack,
'Cos there's no turning back.
They all say we'll be happier you'll see,
But there's something that lacks.

You'll feel better in time,
But that's a goddamn line.
It came as quite a shock,
I didn't see the signs.
The tears came fierce and they came fast.
Wasted memories from the past.
All I can really say,
Is how can I get away.

January goes to march,
When does forgetfulness start?
I see that day when I close my eyes,
It's tugging at my heart.

Old Ghosts laugh and smile,
Memories come from miles.
But all soon leave before my eyes,
As I cry stay a while.

You'll feel better in time,
But that's a goddman line.
It came as quite a shock,
I didn't see the signs.
The tears came fierce and they came fast.
Wasted memories from the past.
All I can really say,
Is how can I get away?

You'll feel better in time,
But that's a goddman line.
It came as quite a shock,
I didn't see the signs

The tears came fierce and they came fast.

Wasted memories from the past.
All I can really say,
Is how can I get away?

How can I get away?

How can I get away?

My Ears Are Insulted!

Has anyone else heard the ATROCITY that is 'Friday' by Rebecca Black? This song has actually made me die just that little bit more inside!

I mean, seriously, are those bloody lrycis for real?

'Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday,

Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin)'

I mean COME ON:

a) Who told this girl who could sing?

b) Who even wrote those bloody lyrics? A five year old? But then again a five year could probabaly be a bit more creative than 'Gotta have my bowl, gotta have my cereal' or some shit like that! At this point in time I don't care if I've misquoted because it's a SHIT song.

This is, without a DOUBT, the worst Song I think I have EVER heard. EVER! She is like a female verison of Justin Bieber. But, Jesus Christ, even J.B himself aint that bad (though not far from).

On that note, I think I'm just going to go to the grave that is now music. Because if music can be a spirit, Rebecca Black is DEATH!

A Quick Blog

I may be absent for a while. I have more work than I can handle due to procrastination. I love you all. Do forgive my neglect.

X

'Hang Your Idols'

I have decided to take action for my musical passion. I have now started putting up my own music and covers via youtube.com. I shall be putting some of them on here under the lyrics I put here.

If you look down you will see I have now put 'siren call' up with a video.

I sincerely hope you like them. If not, then let's see you try to write a song ;-).

Until then here is a cover of Alkaline Trio's 'Emma'

Lotsa Love.

xxx

My Head In My Hands And A Sigh On My Lips

I've become far too complacent with my work at college at the moment. I should be doing work, being studious, preparing myself for the exam period ahead and psyching myself up for three years at university.

But instead I'm here blogging and listening to Alkaline Trio (as per usual), sitting in my college library doing borderline nout!

Why do I do this to myself?!? Seriously!?! I think I may have some condition that makes me obsessed with the drama of getting coursework in on time, and fitting in as much revision as possible. But I hate that feeling. I don't like panicking and worrying about the future and if I am going to get in to university. Only I can put in the right amount of work necessary to get into university.

So why aren't I?

Last night I was at home and thought to myself: 'I should do work. I should do work. I should REALLY do some work.'

What do I do? I play guitar.

And even that was dissapointing. I was sitting there for an hour just trying to find a good riff, listening out for something that might fit with something else. But to no avail lads and ladetts. I just found myself sitting there, frustrated at my lack of skill and knowledge of theory. I aspire to be a musician, but what is a musician without the skill necessary to be so? I have found myself feeling very loathsome at a lot as of late. This frustration at everything can't be at all healthy for myself and those around me. I find myself wanting to run to the nearest abandoned area and just scream and shout at the top of my lungs. I want to grab something breakable and throw it with all my strength. I'm acting out. I'm arguing with my friends and family. I'm crawling in to some sort of shell that I wasn't aware existed within me. But how can I expect people to listen if all I want to do is argue, fight, snap, bite, sneer, patronize and mock? All I am doing by letting out my frustration in such a negative way is hurting those who I could use to help. It's a cruel and vicious circle.

I need to find some sort of peace of mind. I need to stop this ridiculous and unproductive habit of procrastination and get my damn head in gear. Until then I am just going to let more and more build on top of me until I find myself drowing in the cold sea of academia, the deep bite of failure piercing my heart as I get results I know I'll regret, knowing I could have done more and didn't.

I apologise for this deeply depressing and apathetic post. However I fail to find anything positive in my current position. Take care and hope you, my beautiful strangers, are well.

Strange But Good.

Do forgive my absence over the last few days. My mind has been a whirlwind of thoughts and I haven't found the time to do a lot of recreational activities.

Anywhooo I got some strange news today. For those of you who are English, which I suspect most of you are, I have some odd but luvverly information about my UCAS University Application. My first choice Univeristy is The University of Kent. However, I was told I had to get 2 B's and 300 UCAS points to get into the Uni. I found this odd, asking myself how I could possibly get 300 UCAS points with only 2 B's. I discussed the matter with my college careers officer and it turns out that I would only need 2 B's and a D...OH YES...THAT'S RIGHT...A BLOODY D...to get into Kent. Now as you can imagine I was prrrrrrrrretty taken aback by this statement. Asking over and over and over again if that was correct, if my leg was being inappropiatley pulled. But no, my lovely readers, It turns out that a C grade I was given at A.S. is worth 40 UCAS points. A D grade at A.2 is 60 UCAS points, inevitably adding up to 100 UCAS points in total. THEREFORE, as long as I get those 2 B's, each worth 100 UCAS points also, fingers crossed, I am going to The University of Kent ladies and gentlemen! Of course I will be aiming to surpass this D grade...BUT STILL! WOOHOO.


Speak soon.


As Eric Forman once said: 'Yes Yes!'

I'm In...On My Own...On A Friday Night...Eating Burnt Pizza...

...

30 Day Song Challenge.

Day 6: A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere

Reminds of every Carribean holiday I have been too. They always sung this...and I was always too young to really get it.